Negativity

September 29, 2012

8:30pm

            I don’t know where to really start with this post. Overall, I’m actually pretty offended about this whole situation. Recently, I’ve received some comments from a few individuals about my blog from people that I really care about. I’m not creating this post just because I have people out there who have a problem with how I express myself. I honestly just want to make sure I clarify a few things.

            I think I’ve made it pretty clear about the purpose of my blog. Losing2Gain is all about ridding of my setbacks and trying to completely change my life for the better. Also, I created this blog just so I have a “safe” place where I can completely be me. I want my story to be heard, but I am worried that it is being misinterpreted.

            The whole reason why I’ve talked about boys on my blog is just to show other girls that they are not alone. Secretly, every girl wants to have an amazing relationship with a guy. There is no way you can sit there and tell me that you don’t dream about what life would be like with the man of your dreams. Every girl wants to fall in love with a handsome prince! A girl may not admit it, but she still cannot deny it. Growing up without a dad has always been hard from day 1. I may not have realized it as much as I do now, but it has always made me feel bad about myself. I’ve heard a lot of things about how girls who grow up without a father configures with dramatic effects in their everyday lives when they reach their teen years. Most girls I know who don’t have a father feel similar to the way I feel and struggle with the same things too. Honestly, it only makes sense for me to feel so needy! The purpose of me talking about Taylor and all of the other things I said involving boys was not to make yall feel sorry for me. I’m not trying to come off as a desperate school girl with an obsession for the male gender. If you honestly think that is my intention, I’m seriously worried. You don’t know me well enough. In person, I generally act pretty freaking boy crazy. Yeah, I’ll admit it. I think a lot of guys are attractive. I think a lot of guys are nice. I think a lot of guys are approachable. I’m not that different from every other girl; I’m just a lot more open about it then most! Take Alyssa for example. She knows me probably more than anybody else. I’ve explained this concept to her numerous times. I act boy crazy sometimes just to get a good laugh out of the people around me. You know me: I’m always trying to make others smile! Believe it or not, I’m not obsessed with every boy I meet ;)

Anyways, I was also criticized for coming off as “unapproachable” with the way I act in my blog. Someone told me that if a guy was reading my blog, he won’t be attracted to me because I seem all depressed and self conscious all the time. All I have to say to this is that again this is not my intention. I deeply feel that if I tell others how I am feeling, maybe others can help me. Or, I can just “blog” about how I am feeling about something. The people I connect with in my blog should know me pretty well by now, and it’s easier for me to type out my feelings then to verbally communicate. The whole purpose of my blog is to better my life, am I not right? If a guy is reading this and he gets turned off by my struggles, what is a girl to do? I have no control of my past, only my present. It really hurts me that someone would be so not attracted to me just because of the things I say in my blog. It’s not like I’m trying to create this pity party and I want all potential boyfriends to read it! If you are a guy and you are reading this: cheers. And I just want you to know that I really appreciate you reading this. Don’t worry, there is still a lot more that you don’t know about me. My blog only really focuses on the things I’m trying to improve, not the things that I have truly achieved. Honestly, I’m not depressed everyday. And once in a blue moon I do have my confident days. I’m growing, just like anyone else, and I’m trying to see the good in myself. I see so much greatness in others, and I hope you guys can genuinely see that I deeply care about most individuals. Honest to blog, don’t take every single statement I make in this blog to heart. Sometimes I write out of anger, lust, loss; you just got to get used to it!