September 30th, 2012.
11:37pm
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Don't ask me why, but it's just always in the back of my head. And it makes me laugh, honestly. I keep thinking about how much my life would be different if I was a healthy and happy weight. I keep thinking about how good it will feel to "reject" all of the guys who never treated me right when I was big. I wish I was just saying that. I'm definitely not trying to sound coincided: that's the least of my intent. Honestly, if a guy ends up "liking" me, he'll almost never prove it in person. It's because he is embarrassed to be around me. He's embarrassed to have a thing with a big girl. I've had a guy actually tell me this before, so don't just think that I'm saying this to feel sorry for myself. When I'm the way I want to look, I am not going to give not one of those guys the time of day. To every single guy I've ever been picked on or put down by because of my weight: forget you. I meant nothing to you, so you mean nothing to me. For all the guys out there that I have deeply liked and you've treated me like I was nothing; all I have to say is karma is a *jerk*.
:) Have a good night.
I am the reason why I am overweight. No one made me do it. I did this to myself. I am the reason why I will be healthy and fit one day. No one can do it for me. I will do it because I know I can.
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