I apologize for not posting this earlier! I'm getting busier and busier every single night. I really did think this post was necessary though. I don't think I could have gone on without posting about May 7th. So much has happened to me today, and I want to share it with you!
Thought of the Day: Friends "May 7th; Friendship is like two clocks keeping time."
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| Brady and I. "It's not the quality of the picture that counts, or even the fact that I don't look my best: it's all about the memories and the emotions behind each and every photograph. And people wonder why I love my camera so much!" |
I don't know about anyone else, but I really loved this quote. This quote reminds me of the lyrics, off of the song I Hope You Dance, "Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along." I absolutely adore that song. It really makes me want to enjoy my life, and I always tell myself just to dance!
Today was pretty interesting honestly. There are a few people at school that are really surprising me: some for the better, and some for the worse. I absolutely hate drama, and if you know me at all, you would know that I try to make peace in the end, but I always want other people to know how I feel. Every time I get in an argument with someone, or something related, I'm always the first one to just spill. I don't like to hold things back. I would rather have people know the truth about how I feel than to make crap up about how they think I was feeling at the time. Make sense?
In Health, we had a guest speaker come and talk to us. We just started a unit on mental health, going back to depression and all of that. A beautiful young lady named Bonnie was our speaker for the day. She graduated from my high school when I would have been in 5th grade, which seems like forever ago! She started off explaining who she was a little bit. I noticed how fidgety she was up there, speaking in front of a bunch of judgemental freshmen. I glanced to my right, and saw that about half of my class were being really disrespectful. Most of them were either talking to one another, checking their phones, messing with their papers, or just being plain rude. I had no idea that they would ever be so inconsiderate. This lady is taking time out of her everyday life to come and help improve and inspire out own. I couldn't believe the look in some of their eyes. It was almost as though she was some forbidden creature, or beast of some kind. Or some kind of imprisoned clown. They looked at her with wicked, hateful eyes as they snickered to each other. Although I don't know what each and every one of them were thinking, I just felt as though they were looking at her out of the corner of their eyes. I could just see and feel their judgement. The air was so thick with cruelty. It truly was unexplainable.
I looked up from behind my long locks at Bonnnie's face. I could nearly feel the intangible nervousness in her eyes. She also had full cheeks and dark hair like mine. I wondered how many times she had told her story. I wondered if she even noticed those to my right? There is something not right about me I believe. Unlike many other people, I looked into her eyes before I looked at anything else. She had really pretty eyes. Then I looked at her pretty face, and then at the whole picture. I wonder how many people honestly are like this. I wonder how many people actually care about the inner beauty that shines through one's eyes.
Bonnie continued her story about her life and terrible mental condition. To this day, she is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, she is on stable medications, and much more. She has gone through more than imaginable. She was constantly cutting herself for nine straight years, and she hasn't cut now for more than a year. Even though I don't know her on a personal level, I applaud her for taking hold of her life and changing for the better. Overcoming an addiction like that is extremely hard work. Few people I know have truly altered their lives dramatically like that. Bonnie is an incredibly strong person.
At the end of her presentation, all of the students were asked to give her feedback on a half sheet of paper. All the other students in the class probably wrote a few things she could have included or expanded on during her presentation speech. I, on the other hand, really gave her something to hold on to. I told her how personable everything she said was, and how much it meant to me and to many other people that she had the courage to talk to a bunch of complete strangers. I honestly want to be like her when I'm older. I want to overcome this eating disorder and this depression for good. Like her, I know my addictions will not be easy to break. I do know that with hard work and support I will be unstoppable. I know now that it is physically impossible to do everything on my own. All my life, I've been the most stubborn and independent girl anyone has ever met. I never wanted any help with my homework, housework, personal life, or anything! I used to think "asking for help" was a sign weakness, a sign that you as a person were not capable of being on your own, as if you always had to lean on someone else's shoulder. In reality, it proves your strengths. When you think about it, there is no way anyone could be in the great places that they are today without some sort of direction and support. There is no way. I can't wait until my day comes. I can't wait until I finally have the strength I've been striving for my entire life. When I mature, I want to be a motivational speaker like Bonnie. I want to help others the way she has helped me.
What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction.
This song is really amazing! I know there are a lot of haters out there who make fun of this video, but it does inspire me and it does make me feel better when I watch it. The lyrics are beautiful and it has a good message behind it. Few singers and songwriters have the ability to make and produce a noteworthy song like this.
And there are also few guys in this world who can sing this song as beautifully as these guys do!
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